Daichi the new saiyan(Done)

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Daichi the new saiyan(Done)

Post  Daichi on Wed Jul 07, 2010 11:29 am

Daichi feels the sun come up. He feels the heat warm his body. Daichi flies through the planet and he searches for his uncle,Zack. He takes to the sky to cover more ground in a shorter amount of time. Daichi looks around "Dang how hard could it be finding a man with a scar on his face." Daichi then spots a man whom looks like his uncle. Daichi lands to the ground. "Hey Zack!" Daichi calls out but he doesn't even look back so Daichi just forgets about his uncle leaves to train. Daichi begins to fly off. He then comes to a perfect training ground. Daichi begins performing a series of punches and kicks on the air. He the flies up into the air and performs the same thing. He lands to the ground and begins to power up. "RAAAGH!" Daichi begins to roar a loud and screeching roar loud enough for a deaf man to hear. Rocks begin to fly up into the air as a
white powerful aura. Daichi continues to powerup his powerlevel slowly rises.

Moments later Daichi halts powering up and feels his powerlevel has rises a little. Daichi then flies up into the air and says "I wonder how the rest of the saiyans. Daichi charges to the area. Daichi feels the sky begin to darken as it turns to night. Daichi then panics and says "It can't be so soon there can't be a moon so soon." Daichi flies off at full speed and tries to hurry up and hide so he can refrain from looking at the moon so that he won't cause any damage to the planet. For Daichi has not yet learned to control himself while within the great ape state. Daichi was rushing through the city and lands to the ground he then charges behind a tree and tries to hurry up and go to sleep so that he will not be able to look at the moon.


Last edited by Daichi on Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:07 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Re: Daichi the new saiyan(Done)

Post  Korn✔ on Thu Jul 08, 2010 4:30 am

((It's definetly better but still not long enough. Try making it atleast 3 times longer..? BTW, small advice: Daichi and Zack aren't really Saiyan names Razz Any reason for you two having human names? ))
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Re: Daichi the new saiyan(Done)

Post  Daichi on Thu Jul 08, 2010 3:37 pm

well our intension was for both of us to start off on earth but since we are not aloud to i figured it was to much trouble to come up with another name so i kept this one.
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Re: Daichi the new saiyan(Done)

Post  Daichi on Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:07 pm

anyway so how is it now?
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Re: Daichi the new saiyan(Done)

Post  Korn✔ on Sun Jul 11, 2010 5:22 am

((You forgot the stats XD ))
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Re: Daichi the new saiyan(Done)

Post  Daichi on Sun Jul 11, 2010 7:11 pm


STR-10
AGI-10
END-10
SPR-10
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Re: Daichi the new saiyan(Done)

Post  Korn✔ on Mon Jul 12, 2010 3:22 am

Approved!
((Put more effort next time Smile ))
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